


Small Shock

by cabinet_man



Category: South Park
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death, Other, Overdosing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22668958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cabinet_man/pseuds/cabinet_man
Summary: Stan's not sure why he's feeling this way towards someone he's rarely ever spoken to.
Relationships: Clyde Donovan & Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski & Stan Marsh
Kudos: 19





	Small Shock

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is more personal to me, because i'm currently going through the same thing.

Stan had never really been all that close with Clyde. In fact, Clyde was just a distant kid, in general, after his mother had passed on. They rarely ever spoke to each other, even when their groups merged for adventures or games. The only vivid memories that Stan had that involved Clyde were the times when some new kid (he can’t remember their name; it’s been so long since their days in elementary school) decided to crash their medieval game, and then again crashed their game of superheroes.

Clyde had been on the “bad side” numerous times. He had decided to join Cartman’s side first, talking about how lame elves were. And once he was banished from space and time, he became known as the Ruler of Darkness and threatened to destroy all of Zaron. And during their time playing as heroes, he once again chose Cartman’s side. Even after the merge, he never bothered talking with Stan all that much- all he did was mock and ridicule him.

Either way, it shocked Stan to no end when his homeroom teacher sat them all down that morning to let them know that Clyde Donovan had passed away.

He wasn’t sure why, but his heart felt like it shattered into a million pieces. His chest hurt and his eyes felt watery, but he held back the tears. He barely knew this kid. There was no reason why he should be feeling so upset when Craig’s gang looked so untouched by it all.

No matter how many times he tried to convince himself this, he just couldn’t shake the overwhelming sadness that blossomed in his heart. He felt  _ terrible  _ about what happened.

The teacher had instructed him and his peers to sit quietly and reflect, so that’s what Stan did. The world felt so surreal to him. Clyde sat only a row behind him, and Stan was suddenly hyper-aware that he’d have to walk in every morning and see the empty desk and be reminded of the boy who overdosed sometime within the past few days.

The bell rang, but teachers were instructed to hold students until directed to let them go to their next classes. Stan had some more quiet time to himself, and he eventually zoned out.

An announcement over the intercom soon confirmed that students were allowed to leave, so Stan gathered up his things and exited the room slower than he normally did.

As he walked through the halls, he took notice of how silent it was. Nobody was speaking, and some younger students looked as if they would cry at any moment. Others seemed sluggish in their movements. Stan was sure that he was a combination of both, yet he continued on his way to second period.

The day dragged on like this. Some students went home early while others left for the main office or to the counselor’s office in order to speak with a professional about the situation. Rumours spread easily- Clyde was the talk of the school.

The only information that Stan could trust were that Clyde had overdosed at some point and that his father had found him that morning in his bed. Any other details were completely scrapped from his mind, because these people didn’t  _ know  _ Clyde. A few students had been talking about how it was no surprise that this was going to happen; he hung out with  _ Craig  _ and probably tried to pop some pills in order to get high. Some said it was because the guilt of what he did to his mother finally got to him, so he took his own life.

But neither of these were confirmed, and so Stan did his best to ignore all of the accusations.

Third period rolled around, and finally Stan was able to speak with his super best friend about everything that had unfolded only two hours beforehand.

Kyle was already situated at his desk when Stan walked through the door. The redhead looked completely fine, minus his clearly disheveled hair. He took his spot beside him, and Kyle spared him a glance.

“You okay dude?” He asked, and Stan shrugged.

“I’m kind of… shaken up,” the noiret responded. “My chest feels tight.”

“You didn’t cry, did you?” Kyle continued. He sounded annoyed. “People were crying in my class. I don’t know why- they didn’t know Clyde. They shouldn’t be crying.”

Kenny suddenly piped up from the other side of Kyle.

“Everyone copes differently,” he interjected. “So what if people cried? It’s really upsetting for all of us.”

“Yeah, but dude, they  _ didn’t know Clyde _ . You shouldn’t cry for someone you don’t know when the people who  _ do  _ know him aren’t even crying,” the redhead countered. “It’s probably just for attention.”

Stan felt kind of stupid now.

“Craig’s group don’t pride themselves with emotions, you know that as well as everyone else, Kyle.”

“So? They’re not crying, so why should we be crying?”

Kenny rolled his eyes, then leaned back in his chair. He propped his feet up on the desk. “It’s just  _ sad _ ,” said Kenny. “The guy was almost seventeen, he had his whole life ahead of him.”

“He did it to himself,” Kyle grumbled, and Stan decided to tune them out. He didn’t need to hear this right now. Or ever, really.

It was like this for the rest of the day: silence in the hallways, rumours spreading from clique to clique, person to person, theories about why he did it… Stan hated every second of it, and his chest still hurt.

People were talking about Clyde all day- and Stan had to admit that he did, too, but the whole thing just made him want to cry. Eighth period eventually rolled around, and he felt like he was going to lose himself. There was only an hour left of class- he could get through this.

The kids around him were more chatty than usual, and it seemed as if everyone wanted to talk about what happened. He didn’t have the chance to check his phone yet, but he was certain that everyone was posting about Clyde’s death on their Snapchat stories. People were already commenting on his Facebook wall (people really still used it?) and on his last post on Instagram. He heard some of the things that were said thanks to all of the gossip.

Stan folded his arms on the desk, then laid his head down. Kenny managed to make him feel a little better during lunch, but the sadness still persisted. There was a lump in his throat and a tightness in his chest that just wouldn’t go away no matter how much he tried to distract himself.

Outside, he could see the rain as it poured down. The sky looked dreary all day, and he was certain that this was the world’s way of letting people know that today was not a day to be cheerful.

There was a pang in his chest as he stared out at the rain. Maybe his parents would let him stay home tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> it's been a long time since i've written for this fandom.
> 
> trrain-wreck.tumblr.com


End file.
